I’ve found that most non-verbals are attempting to communicate, it just isn’t easy to see. I love that rapport building technique up there, especially the parallel talking. I feel that will be -extremely- effective, and is a wonderfully non-intrusive way to put the “work” of building the relationship on the child. It makes it the child’s responsibility to let you into his or her world, to share in the experiences of play. I can’t say enough how brilliant I think that is. By showing that you want to be part of the world, but not forcing your way into it, lets the child know that you are seeking a social experience and, if the child is as well, it’s within their power to allow that.

In the end, I’ve found that giving an autistic child control, or the illusion of control, over their experiences yields the best results. Their lives are often so structured, so rigid, that they never feel like they are in control of anything, and who likes that? With my sons, giving them little things they can control about what we’re doing makes all the difference and leads to rituals that help them moderate without the need to self-stim.

For example, when we read stories at night, I have a little piece of paper pinned near my desk that has the days of the week, and under each day one of the boys’ names (except for Sunday, which has my own). Each night, we look at whose turn it is, and then that boy gets to pick the story. He goes upstairs by himself to the bookshelf, picks something, brings it back down, and we read the story. Then we talk about the book, and look at who gets to pick the story tomorrow. Then the one that picked the story gets to take that book to bed with them, while the other gets to pick a different so that both boys can read to themselves in bed (if they want). This little thing has made a -huge- impact at night. One, the visual schedule is a constant reminder of turn taking, the story selection gives the child direct control over the event, and then reading the story turns that choice into a special thing that everyone is enjoying – because the boy picked that story. That power over the story, and everyone’s enjoyment for story time, is pretty powerful.

I truly think ceding that control to the non-verbal will go a long way in helping you build that rapport and communication. Non-verbals have even less control over their environment, most often. Giving them the power, or the feeling that they have it, will really make an impact.

Of course, this is all in my very unprofessional opinion and based on personal observations that are anecdotal at best. You probably know the mechanics for why it is working so well for us, I just know that it does.