Chuck Wendig is a man of many talents and a one prolific, profane, and prodigious penmonkey.Last week’s Seven Act Flash Fiction Friday Challenge proved to be the framework on which I hung an idea that I’ve had for some time. While more cute than chaotic, all should fear this horrific attack on America…

Wrong Numbers

by Keith Karabin

The air bag slapped my whole face simultaneously. Talc caked my sinuses and shimming blots filled my vision. Hacking, I fumbled for the door handle. I gasped fresh, stinging air.

It looked like a red Sport Utility Vehicle tried to swallow my four-cylinder errand mobile. The hood of the SUV twisted over the trunk of my car and the bumper was crammed under it. The trunk had crumpled around the flattened tires. Fluids seeped from the SUV as curses poured from the woman driving. She stabbed at her cell phone with long fuchsia finger nails.

I gasped and checked the back seat, but my violin was still strapped tight. I had less than an hour before the audition. Forget the car, I needed a ride. I swallowed my pride and called Mom.

“I was just rear-ended, and I’m not gonna make it to the audition.”

“Wow. Who’s this?” She didn’t sound like my mom.

“Sorry, wrong number.”

“S’ok. Sorry about your accident. Good luck with the audition thing.”

I squinted at my cell phone, made certain that I tapped my mom’s number and hit “call.”

“Me, again,” she said.

“That’s not right. This is my mom’s number.”

“Sorry, this is my cell.”

“Great. Sorry, again.”

I retyped the number which I had memorized in Kindergarten.

“Do you have head trauma?” She answered, brightly.

“Maybe. Crap. Bye.”

My phone rang as I stared at it.

“Hello.”

“Marco?” asked a Hispanic sounding woman.

“No.”

“But I call his phone.”

“Seems to be going around.”

“What?” she asked.

I hung up, sat on the curb and fretted. I tried 911.

“Chipotle Krishna, where curry meets cayenne. How can I help you?”

“So, you’re not the cops?” I asked.

“Why does everyone keep asking that?”

I hung up the useless device.

The lady waved her fuchsia nails at me and stuck much of her teased red hair out the window of her SUV. “Oh my God, right?!” She yelled.

“It’s just an accident. I’m okay. Are you?”

“No, the phones! Oh my God, right?” Her nails scrabbled at me, like a sea anemone in rough water, seeking to pull me close. I walked over.

“I was trying to call my sister, but I kept getting some law firm. What do I need a lawyer for? But it was my sister’s number. I kept trying and trying—then wham! Right into your car. Now maybe I need a lawyer. I don’t need a lawyer, do I?”

“Accidents happen.” I said, mostly just trying to stop her from talking so fast, or at all. My hopes of auditioning to the conservatory sunk further.

“What do you think it is? With the phones?”

I shrugged. “I’m gonna try a tow truck.”

“Bet it won’t work,” she said. “I’ll see if the radio knows what’s going on.”

I sat back on the curb, searched for a local tow company on the internet and tapped the number listed on the search engine.

“Yeah?” a man answered.

“Is this Jimmy’s Tow?”

“Look, if one more person tries this prank call crap on me, I’m gonna come through this phone, grab your ear and—”

I hung up, defeated.

I dialed the only number I knew. She answered cheerfully. I sighed.

“How’s it going out there?” she asked.

“I don’t even know. The lady who hit me is more concerned about the phones than about hitting me, I’m more concerned about my audition, and the only people I can reach want to punch me or sell me Mexican-Indian food.”

“Like the Aztecs?”

“I don’t think so. Like curry enchiladas.”

“Eew. What’s the deal about this audition?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“What else do I have to do? I can’t watch TV. The news is streaming useless panic, ‘Phones are weird, we don’t have a clue why.’”

“Nobody knows?”

“Eh. Some blame hacker groups like 4Chan or Anonymous.”

“I don’t know what those are.”

“Neither do they.”

Ms. Fuchsia Nails bellowed from the window of her SUV. “Oh. My. God. They say it was hackers! Terrorists or hackers! Or terrorist hackers!”

“She’s profoundly loud. So, the audition?” the girl asked.

I relented. “I’m not a trained musician, but I think I’m an okay violinist. I found this conservatory willing to give me an audition but then took two months to work up the guts. My appointment’s in about a half hour.”

“And…” she prodded.

“Listen, buddy,” Ms. Fuchsia Nails yelled at her phone, “I don’t care who you are. I’m at 16^th and Spruce and terrorist hackers are attacking America. If you’re a decent man you’ll come and get me! That’s what you get for answering the phone in a crisis!”

She had wrecked my car, but maybe she was right. Maybe I should ask this girl for a ride. She did sound cute. Who knows?

A digital squeal poked my ear drum and the phone disconnected. I hit my mom’s number, committed to asking her.

“Hello,” my mom answered.

“Mom? Oh. Crap!”

“‘Hello’ to you, too. What’s wrong?”

“Too much to tell! The thing with the phones, the car accident, the girl—”

“Car accident? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Mom. I’ll never make the audition, I’ve been talking to a cool girl who I’ll never meet now, and my car’s wrecked. Let me call you back.”

“What girl?” she asked as I hung up.

Ms. Fuchsia Nails took my hang up as the cue to shout “They fixed ‘em! God bless the government, right?!”

I cradled my face in my hands.

I was roused by the honk of a horn after a few moments.

“Need a lift?” asked a voice I knew. I stared at her and her car. “I told you she was profoundly loud.” The girl said, gesturing at Ms. Fuchsia Nails. “I heard her say the intersection before the phones cut out. Don’t you have an appointment?”

I grabbed the case and jumped in the car with a grateful grin. “So, what’s your number?” I asked.

It’s been two weeks and there hasn’t been profound interest in The Operation Habit Challenge despite the chance to try something life changing, and the motivation of a prize. That’s not too surprising, since I firmly believe that change is on a continuum and if you’re not at the point where you want to change right now, a nifty game and $25 won’t be the incentive you need.

However, there was feedback that the challenge was too complex. I get that. I had some concerns, myself. In the spirit of feedback and editing as well as second chances, I give you… 

…the NEW Operation Habit Challenge.

1)     Commit to a positive health habit by saying so in the comments below.
2)     Complete it for 32 days. It’s up to you if you want to do it in a row, or skip a day or two.
3)     Record your Pre-Mood and Post-Mood some how and send it to me.*

*Suggestions for recording your mood: Pick whichever method is simplest for you, or make one up.

A)    You can post each of the 32 repetitions here in the comment box below. It’s a great way to keep accountable and be cheered on.

B)    You can email me and I’ll send you a Microsoft Excel tracking chart which you can type your moods into or print out and hand write them. You would then need to email or snail mail them to me by the deadline.

C)    You can still track your Pre-Mood and Post Mood online using the #OperationHabit hashtag if you’d like. It’s a great way to gain motivation. Then just copy that into an MS Word document and email it to me.

D)    You can do something completely different as long as you track your pre-mood and post-mood in a verifiable way. Just email me to talk over your method.

You have until February 3rd to commit to the challenge and until March 16^th to get your data to me. The winner will be revealed on Friday, March 23^rd.

The point of the challenge is that you build something healthy for yourself, and that way everyone wins. We need to have at least two participants for it to be a challenge. If we can’t get two participants by February 3^rd then the challenge ends as a wash and I win the cash! Yay! No, boo. It is really my hope that we can get something going here.

And so I say game on!

I sat in the green plastic chair and tried not to think about the amount of weight that the scale just told me I had gained. Then the Weight Watchers group leader said “They say it takes 32 repetitions of a behavior to build a habit—I don’t know if it’s true, but that’s what they say.” I was struck by the idea of building a habit. I work so often with people who are trying to change behavior and I felt pretty foolish that I never conceptualized that as “building a good habit” in a simple, functional way. I began to gnaw at this idea.

I’ve been a member of Weight Watchers for a number of years—ever since I walked into a meeting to observe for school and found that it was run like group therapy. Not every leader runs one like that, but this leader says “If you want to talk about recipes for an hour; that’s fine. Find another class.”

I have no shame in admitting that I had been struggling for the weeks prior to December and was dreading the Holiday Fifteen Pounds that I had gained last year in that cookie laden stretch from Thanksgiving to Christmas Day. I had been making small changes, but those small changes would most surely be overwhelmed. I had been dithering around with the idea of exercise, but I hate exercise.

Then I struck on a notion borne of years my years as an addiction therapist. People who seek out a habit do so in a better mood than I surely do before I exercise and they have much more desire to complete the habitual behavior, even if they’re in a crappy mood. Could I build an exercise habit in which I actually sought out the vile practice?

I looked for studies. There were no studies. So, I did my own, and dubbed it “Operation Habit” with the Twitter hashtag #OperationHabit.

The Practice

The practice itself was essentially simple. I set out to exercise five out of seven days of the week (unheard of!) following a series of DVDs that I had bought many years ago. I dusted them off, like Indy a tomb and used Twitter and Facebook to track my mood before and after each session of exercise.

It looked like this entry from December 18^th:

#OperationHabit 17: Pre-Mood: Weary. Post-Mood: energized.

Simple, right?

The hypothesis was just as simple: Could you build a habit in 32 repetitions of a behavior as identified by an increase in mood prior to the behavior, in contemplation of fulfilling the behavior.

To put it another way: Could I show myself that I was building a habit because the idea of doing the habitual thing would grow to appeal to me more.

The Findings

 Let’s break out some charts for y’all.

This is the chart of the “Pre-Mood” ratings. As you could see in the sample tweet, I wasn’t totally scientific in my recording; I was more seeing it as a diary entry. So once I recorded all my moods, I needed to scale them. Using my mysterious powers of psychotherapy, I came up with a one to five system.

5 = Very Positive
4 = Positive
3 = Neutral
2 = Negative
1 = Very Negative

In my life, before committing to this study, I most often hovered around the negative or very negative range. As the study progressed, I found this no longer to be true.

This is the chart of the “Post-Mood” ratings, on the same one to five scale.

As the study focused more on the “Pre-Mood” changes, the Post-Mood ranking was offered as a comparison. I’m sure I can pull more interesting data about how the two moods flux in relation to each other, but that’s not for today. Interestingly, the mood started on “Positive” and ended on “Positive.”

Some other interesting trends are revealed by the data. 

• - Though there were peaks and valleys, the study noted a 2 point increase from “Negative” to “Positive” pre-mood.
• - 18 of the repetitions noted pre-moods that were “Positive” or higher, with no “Negative” moods listed past repetition 14.
• - The majority of pre-moods for repetitions 16-32 were noted as “Positive” or higher.
• - Most of the “Negative” pre-moods had an external trigger, or were a response to emotional stimuli outside the exercises itself. (You can find a tweet or a post about a certain night of “Baby Bedlam” and many work week days listed “weary” which had to do with general work day exhaustion.)
• - In comparison of the “Pre-Mood” chart and the “Post-Mood” chart, it is interesting that there is an extreme low, right at the mid point, followed by extreme highs. This is where I would have given up, in the past. I think this is where many of us give up. The novelty had worn off and I wasn’t charged up. I changed my work out, changed intensity when I needed to and sometimes pushed myself harder. I found I needed a challenge to get my “Post-Mood” back up.

In conclusion, there might really be something to this. But, to find out for sure I need your help.

The Challenge

Now it’s your turn. I cannot say I offered you inconclusive proof that you can build a positive health habit in 32 repetitions. I will stand by the personal evidence that it is highly possible. But more data would be crucial to this determination. I’d enjoy having that data, but I’m hungry to help people feel like they can change like I feel that I have changed. If you’ve struggled keeping any positive health habit, you know how defeatist it can feel.

Here’s the deal.

1)     Pick a positive health habit which you’ve always known you needed or have not succeeded with in the past. Commit to it here, in the comments so that we know who the competitors are.

2)     Complete 32 repetitions of that behavior. It’s up to you if you want to do it once every day, or skip a day or two.

3)     Record your Pre-Mood and Post-Mood online using the one to five scale above. Use the hashtage #OperationHabit, if you can, or just note it as your system allows. Make a copy of your record in an MS Word document.

4)     You have until January 20^th to commit to the challenge. Email me the MS Word document and a link to the online profile which you used to track the data on March 9^th (7 weeks in between).

See that gift card? It’s for $25, and it’s real. I smudged out the numbers myself. It’s what the winner will receive. Your MS Word document and profile link which proves you completed the challenge is your entry into a random drawing for twenty-five smackers. The winner will be revealed on Friday, March 16^th. But it’s my hope that everyone will win a new habit.

Game on!

Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanza have come and gone, leaving us many welcome gifts, and potentially one unwelcomed one; guilt. Eat too much over the Holidays? Drink too much? Sleep too much? Smoke away your frustrations at Holiday shopping? Curse away your frustration at Holiday driving? Gossip about family?

[Cue Old Timey Snake-Oil Music] 

Well then, have I got a cure for you! It’s a classic, bona fide, guaranteed time-tested solution to that pressing feeling that you—yes, you—have got some changing to do! And, as a special bonus, it even cures that feeling of friends and family staring daggers into your innocent back about the changes you’re not ready to admit to, let alone make! Best part? It’s absolutely free! Come closer, friend and gaze at the New Year’s Resolution! But, be warned, this is a one-time, first come-first served opportunity so you best jump at the chance to make a Resolution certified to get you over the guilt, get the daggers out of your back and get you back to that same old behavior by Valentine’s Day! 

Yep. That about sums up my thoughts on New Year’s Resolutions. The ball drops, the bubbly pops, we kiss, we hug and we make bold statements about the change we will make in the New Year. Then Facebook is littered with the gravestones of the previous night’s resolutions before the final Mummer has left the parade the next morning.

What irks me is that change, real change, is awesome, freeing and powerful, but the New Year’s Resolution is a socially endorsed set up for failure with a wink and a nod. Yes, I get that it’s a tradition and it’s meant in fun. I get that I may be over reacting. If you like your tradition the way it is, feel free to jump off this freight train now.

…

Still with me? Great. Now, let me tell you why New Year’s Resolutions are dumb.

The New Year’s Resolution Stage

According to 30 year veteran clinical psychologist and addiction specialist, Dr. Marc F. Kern, “…behavior change does not happen in one step. Rather, people tend to progress through different stages on their way to successful change” and at their own pace. These days, most therapists, myself included, gauge that rate of change using The Stages of Change Model developed by James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente as they studied how people quit smoking. Since publishing their work, Prochaska and DiClemente’s  “SCM model has been applied to a broad range of behaviors,” Dr. Kern wrote, “including weight loss, injury prevention, overcoming alcohol, and drug problems among others.”

I use the SCM to gauge every behavior change on my patients’ treatment plans. I’m required to by every insurance company I deal with, which means that the majority of therapists, psychologists and counselors who work with public and private insurance are encouraged to use this model. There are six stages, I’ll describe them for you. Look closely to find the “It’s New Year’s Eve!” Stage.

Pre-Contemplation: “What problem? I don’t have a problem; you have a problem.” People in this stage are unaware or unwilling to see their behavior as a problem. Think of the older man or woman who wears too much cologne or perfume. Everyone around them knows it’s a problem, but they sure don’t.

Contemplation: “Maybe I do need to change…” We start to see a negative effect of the issue. Our jeans are suddenly too tight, but the dryer didn’t shrink any of the other clothes, or in the example of the perfume, we see people choking and their eyes watering when we come near.

Preparation: “Ok. I do need to change that, but how?” In this stage we gather data. From personal experience and as a therapist I can attest that some people get stuck in this stage because for a while gathering information on how to change feels good, it feels like change but it’s not.

Action: “It’s go time!” And then we try it out. Even small successes in this stage feel like mountains climbed. We need a great deal of support in this stage.

Maintenance: “I got this.” We’ve had repeated success. Dr. Kern noted that “People in this stage tend to remind themselves of how much progress they have made.” What he didn’t note is that we also tend to remind everyone we meet. I’m sure you know someone who does. This is okay, it shows that we’re proud of our success but also could use some polite congratulations or encouragement to keep it up.

Relapse: “Man, did I F’up.” Dr. Kern assures us that “along the way to permanent cessation or stable reduction of a bad habit…it is much more common to have at least one relapse than not.” Relapse happens, it’s fine, depending on how well and how soon you try again. The problem with this from a New Year’s Resolution standpoint is that the whole concept is based around immediate cessation with little preparation and we give up totally as soon as the first relapse, because failing at your New Year’s Resolution is also a social norm.

So, did you see the “It’s New Year’s Eve!” Stage? Can you locate it on the chart? Of course not. Lasting change comes in a slow progression.

Everybody Else is Doing It

“What’s your New Year’s Resolution? What’s your’s? What’s your’s?” Commitment to a New Year’s Resolution on New Year’s Eve has more peer-pressure backing it than drinking. However, Dr. Hiroshi Matsumoto, researcher at  The Open Research-center Project of Mukogawa Women’s University in Japan asserted that such external motivation will net you very little in terms of long term change.

He, and his partner, reported finding that changing a negative behavior through “extrinsic reinforcements, such as penalty, compensation, behavioral and social reinforcement” or a New Year’s Eve party, may work in the short-term but “it is difficult to maintain the long-term behavioral changes…therefore in order to maintain altered health behavior, one’s motivation should be internalized…”

How do you gain an internalized motivation? According to Deci and Ryan’s “Self-Determination Theory” true internal motivation takes time to develop, but is more easily achieved if a person moves from “a nonself-determined model” like a socially reinforced New Year’s Eve Resolution, to a “self determined model” such as a change brought about through the stages of change above.

How many of you will resolve to exercise this year? Dr. Matsumoto’s study was on changing exercise behavior. “There seems to be many people who attempt to start exercises because of external pressure,” he affirmed, “Yet…the external pressure can change exercise behavior in the short term but it appears to be difficult to change long term exercise behavior,” based solely on external motivation.

Size Doesn’t Matter. Wait, Yes it Does

Finally, it’s the size of the commitment that undermines it success. The clock strikes 11:59 on New Year’s Eve and it’s “This is it! My last cigarette!” “My last drink!” “My last cheese-encrusted, dough-wrapped, sugar coated lard ball!”

Why now? Because we want to “Start off the New Year right!” Registered Dietician Sheah Rarback from the University of Miami Leonard M. Miller School of Medicine would disagree. “It’s a familiar message from nutrition professionals: The road to a healthier lifestyle is paved with a series of small changes. It seems a no-brainer that this would be a good strategy, but…” not, apparently on New Year’s Eve.

Making such quick, drastic change will bring almost certain failure, however a 2011study published in the British Journal of Nutrition and cited by Rarback confirmed that slow change can have drastic results. “Each lifestyle change improves health, and when you put a few together you are looking at powerful, pill-free intervention,” she wrote, based on the findings that “with each additional lifestyle change, the risk of [negative health consequences] decreased 31 percent on average.”

Quitting drinking, smoking, over-eating, womanizing, gambling, and any other harmful “ing” immediately will surely bring the same 31% benefit. But, it’s useless if you only have that benefit for two to three weeks at the utmost. Lasting change starts small.

Fine, Now I Hate New Year’s Eve

New Year’s Eve is a blast of a holiday. New Year’s Resolutions are a quaint tradition. If you want to make them, please do so. But do so with your eye’s open. Here are two methods for a successful New Year’s Resolution that brings lasting change.

The Prepared Method

1)     You’ve already decided, at some point before New Year’s Eve that you need to change [issue X]. You’ve found your internal motivation.

2)     You’ve already gathered data.

3)     You’ve made some small changes and had some relapses but are getting back on track.

4)     You make your New Year’s Resolution as a public declaration to gain some external motivation, too.

The “Ball’s Dropping Right Now” Method

1)     Everybody’s been hassling you about [issue X], and you do think that they’re right, so you’re gonna try this Resolution thing.

2)     The idea of changing [issue X] feels possible and you want to try to change.

3)     You resolve to have [issue X] changed by next New Year’s Eve which includes starting to gather information on how to change immediately via friends at the party, the internet…ect.

4)     Whenever anyone in the next week points out that you just did [issue X] again you repeat the phrase, “That’s okay, I’m early in the Preparation Stage” but you do keep trying to change the behavior throughout the stages. Don’t worry, as the negative consequences continue, your internal motivation will grow.

If you do chose to use one of these methods for your resolution, please comment in the box below or use the array of contact avenues to let us know. We’d love to offer some external motivation. If you did, successfully change a behavior via a New Year’s Resolution and wish to challenge me, bring it on. I’d love to know more.

To everyone, I hope you have great success and a Happy New Year.

I love the 24 Hour Holiday Marathon on 103.3FM, WPRB in Princeton, NJ—streaming live around the world every Christmas Eve at 6PM to 6PM Christmas Day, and hosted by the illustrious Jon Solomon. Those who know this site, know this fact, since I’ve been doing a post like this for the last four years.

The focus of this post is simple: YOU. SHOULD. LISTEN.

The format is different this year because—though I’m as bad at math as a monkey with a banana abacus—I think this year is the 24^th Anniversary of the 24 Hour Holiday Marathon. Therefore, in the greatest of holiday traditions, I have scoured my articles on the show and re-gifted you with 24 succinct reasons that YOU. SHOULD. LISTEN.

And here they are, in no particular order. Just click on the embedded link if you want more details.

“By listening you’re choosing real radio over every other offering on the dial…you’re choosing to hang with a real person for a couple of minutes or hours, instead of a computer generated playlist that you can’t interact with.”

“Solomon plays…‘stuff that’s either a certain level of good or a certain level of bad that it has to be heard.’”- The Star-Ledger 2009

All are welcome. Christian, non-Christian, Jew, Atheist. Music Lovers and Music Explorers.

“You feel like you’re at the start of this race. That you’re with [Jon] and you’re fighting the good fight against a lot of crummy things.”

Question Posed to Jon Solomon, DJ: You were 15 when you started, according to the NY Times, but somehow people were still OK with you hosting a show—let alone a 24 hour show—live on the radio.

“…our shared experiences give the audience a common reference point to bond and discuss [in the chat rooms and on the forums].”

“There’s always been this aura of  ‘Wow’ when it came to the Christmas Eve Marathon… it’s a lot for any one person to do all alone, all night and day long.”

…hearing him get emotional at the end.

Most American Christmases are fraught with travel. Through it all…we have Jon, the bells* and the music. That constant unifies what would otherwise be a very scattered holiday. (*Jon has a musical backdrop of repeating jingle bells when he talks—it sounds much more charming than it writes.)

It is what draws people in the estimated tens of thousands, from as far as Singapore or, “This time from Athens, Greece!” The Holiday Radio Show touches lives.

Join the accidental tradition: “There was a huge swath of time available on Christmas Eve and I decided I would write my name in…The next year I decided to go for the full 24 hours and an accidental tradition was born!”

…the online chat and video feed which…“has made the 24 Hour Christmas Special even more fun” by uniting the fan base ever more closely.

Find out why “[Jon’s] had ‘anxiety dreams’ about the show.”

…the Holiday Radio Show eliminates the need it force oneself to fit into the traditional holiday music round hole.

“…the Christmas show is a tradition I have with my friends and is separate from traditions I share with my family…I like chatting with my friends and having our secret after midnight Christmas club.”

“It’s also really great to hear these oddball songs I am never going to find anywhere else, or remember to even look for.”

“…hearing Jon get loopy in the morning” due to lack of sleep.

Get engaged. “Getting engaged on the radio in the middle of the night was pretty amazing. There’s a couple who called me…let me know they got engaged during the show and they called back last year to tell me they were now married.”

The 24 Hour Holiday Radio Show is a marathon, but it is also the musical Island of Misfit Toys for the strange songs and the unique fans who fit in there.

“Jon manages to make it feel like a group effort, by acknowledging the folks checking in via the phone, internet or the chat room, or people who are hanging out in-studio,”

For some of fans, the show was an escape. For others it was validation that Christmas welcomed even those who bucked traditional music. That the Yule could still be cool.

“It makes the holiday season feel a lot less lonely, especially if you’re away from home or loved ones.”

Listen to the moments when Jon has his “toddler daughter in studio for a bit.” Who is now three years old, and if she’s anything like my daughter, would protest the reference—made two years past, when she was one—of being a “toddler.”

Join Jon, because, to him, “It is cliché, but I can’t imagine being anywhere else on Christmas.”

There you have it. 24 reasons why YOU. SHOULD. LISTEN. But you don’t need to stop there. Join the Facebook page. Follow @comedyminusone, Jon’s Twitter alter-ego. Join the live-chat or forums at www.WPRB.com. Maybe you’ll find me there or hear me call in—this year my daughter and wife want to hear “Hooray for Santa Clause” because it teaches spelling. No matter what you choose, a little involvement, a casual radio check in, or a zealotous 24 hour marathon of your own, I guarantee it will be an experience that you cannot have anywhere else.

Merry Christmas, one and all.

Here we lay in the Horse Latitudes (that listless, empty span near the equator where old timey sailors couldn’t catch a breeze) between  the Day of Thanks and the Season of Giving. This is a wonderful time to talk about selfishness. Philosophers, psychotherapists, people of faith and historical icons have all struggled with the issue of selfishness. Some, like a Forensic Psychologist below, see selfishness as spiritual journey yet the ascetic sees the opposite, denial of self, as spiritual journey. No discussion would be complete without mention of Ayn Rand’s Objectivism and it’s glorification of selfishness as a quasi-spiritual ideal morality.

But right up front, I’m making clear that—though I value the insight—I disagree with all of them. Yes, I know. That’s selfish, too.

Psychotherapist Dr. Nathaniel Branden crafted a functional definition of selfishness for articles nestled within the folds of Ayn Rand’s classic “The Virtue of Selfishness” which read “Selfishness entails: (a) a hierarchy of values set by the standard of one’s self-interest, and (b) the refusal to sacrifice a higher value to a lower one or to a nonvalue.” I said it defined functional selfishness. I did not say it was objective. Which is kind of amusing since, while is Dr. Branden able to hammer together some truly complex philosophical constructs, he also seems to be a convert to the Objectivist quasi-spiritual ideal morality of selfishness.

Ms. Rand and Dr. Branden’s view of selfishness as a “hierarchy of values” is a much more cerebral perspective on selfishness in action than I, most therapists, and people in the real world interact with every day. “Psychotherapy patients [and everyone else, I add] struggle regularly with the issue of selfishness,” according to Forensic Psychologist Dr. Stephen Diamond, “both with the gluttonous narcissism of excessive selfishness and the soul-starving, saintly rejection of healthy selfishness. Often, they feel conflicted and guilt-stricken about acknowledging and asserting their own selfish needs, feelings, wishes and wants.”

I’ve done a bunch of research and it all points to the same question “What do we do about selfishness?” Apparently, the wide-spread answer is over think it, or marginalize it and then create a doctrine. We can do better.

Why are We Selfish?

“In psychological terms, the issue of man’s survival does not confront his
consciousness as an issue of ‘life or death,’ but as an issue of ‘happiness
or suffering.’ Happiness is the successful state of life, suffering is the
warning signal of failure, of death.”
- Ayn Rand, The Virtue of Selfishness

Look, I’m gonna be straight with you. I don’t know Ayn Rand. I turned the pages of Atlas Shrugged  because I’d heard it was up there with On The Road. My eyes glazed pretty quickly. I didn’t finish it and can’t really claim to have started it. What I know of Rand’s Objectivism—“her new morality—the ethics of rational self-interest” which, according to Dr. Branden “is the underlying theme of her famous novels”—has been long ago bastardized by the splendid video game, BioShock.  

However, if you take all of the “new morality” gilding off of the concept, they do have the “why” right. “The root of selfishness is man’s right—and need—to act on his own judgment. If his judgment is to be an object of sacrifice—what sort of efficacy, control, freedom from conflict, or serenity of spirit will be possible to man?” Dr. Branden wrote in the article, “Isn’t Everyone Selfish?”

I love the title of the article. “Isn’t Everyone Selfish?” Yes. No matter if you look from an evolutionary or Devine standpoint, man is a selfish creature. The crux is still the same. Selfishness is born of the need to survive, the desire to thrive and the hope to enjoy life. One might also call it self interest or self care. Self interest and self care are healthy. Selfishness marks a shift in perspective away from functional self interest, a universal tilt toward the self and away from social balance.  

Is Selfishness Really That Bad?

 “Is nurturing one’s own soul or sense of self selfish?” Dr. Diamond asked and continued to ask, putting the rhetoric in rhetorical. “Trying to attain one’s innermost needs? Actualizing one’s innate creative potential? Constructively expressing one’s self and will in the world? And, if so, could this sort of selfishness be positive, beneficial or therapeutic?” It’s obvious that to him—and to the view of selfishness as self-improvement—selfishness is not bad because he considers “The Self…both the center and totality of the personality” and thus “the right kind of selfishness–an honoring of the true Self–is essential to emotional and spiritual self-healing. And to finding and fulfilling one’s destiny.”

Dr. Diamond also asserted that the less selfishness you have, the greedier you are because, due to unmet childhood needs, adults “avoid the self” and thus “Greed grows from ignorance (unconsciousness) of one’s self.”

I’m sorry, I can’t buy this. It logically does not follow that being more focused on identifying your unmet needs and then pursuing them by being “sufficiently selfish in the present” will make a person less greedy. Sure, it may make them want less of a breadth of things, like hording, or want things with less intensity, like in addiction, but that rationale seems to rationalize greed-based thinking. I do agree with his statement that “an honoring of the true self is essential to emotional and spiritual healing” but greed should not be the means. As a clinician I would strive to help my patient identify how, as a functional adult, they are over-looking that the need was already met and that they should be putting their energy into releasing the feeling of unmet childhood needs or processing through neglectful trauma.

In a more socially philosophical bent, Dr. Branden contested that selfishness has communal benefit “Because a genuinely selfish man chooses his goals by the guidance of Reason—and because the interests of rational men do not clash—other men may often benefit from his actions.”

Class, we see the flaw in this logic, right? “Because the interests of rational men do not clash” the selfishness of one will benefit all. That, class is a fallacy. The interests of rational men are clashing every minute of every day. Good Heavens, it’s what keeps the internet running!

Being so focused on your own self-care and self-interest that you fully lose sight of the needs of others at all times is bad for others because of the afore mentioned lost sight, and bad for yourself because you become a prig that no one seeks to be around or a universally hurtful person. This is not complex math. However, the converse, a person who has low self esteem and no self care will hurt themselves through unmet needs and hurt others because they are not helping them foster their own self-reliance, rather than dependency on the one that they are pinning all their need-meeting on.

There is a balance to selfishness. You get hurt and become hurtful the farther you go to either end of the spectrum. That is bad, no matter how much you spiritualize or rationalize it. However, we’ve received mixed messages all our lives. “Look out for Number One!” or “Be a Giver!” themes have been drilled into us so that all of our met-need meters are out of whack. Some meters only have a “Full” mark and everything else is a red danger zone so they live in a bullying panic. Some have been taught to live on “Empty” and may quietly resent everyone around them for not noticing and filling them.  

Worms, Pilots, Acrobats and Astronauts

Dr. Diamond and I agree. “One of the most difficult tasks for psychotherapy patients is learning to be selfish in the proper way.” But it is key to not becoming a selfish person, either greedily obsessed with the needle on “Full” or so resentful of the needle on “Empty” that you are selfish in smaller, hurtful ways.

This is not to discredit those who, through effort and sweat have earned many nice things. A full material life does not make one selfish. Some of the most materially rich people can also be some of the most generous. This is also not to demean those faithful who take a vow of poverty, the ascetic on his fast, or the aspect of the Christian life in which selflessness is key. That type of selflessness is beautiful, as it is, in itself a reliance on God or higher power to meet personal needs. In fact, both of those examples illustrate what the balance of Self Sustainment looks like.

I try to help my patients become self sustaining. Much like the rich man who gives away some of his wealth, the ascetic monk or the selfless Christian, those who can be self sustaining acknowledge A) That there is a way to meet my needs (Either totally through effort, or by reliance on God or a higher power) B) That desiring to have my basic needs met shows I’m valuable. C) That I can still function if some of those needs are not always fully met. D) While always in the process of keeping “some in the tank” I always should be giving to others because that will help me keep my perspective and balance.

Dr. Timothy E. Ursiny puts it differently. “The person who shows healthy self-care balances her needs with the needs of others involved and does not show a pattern of consistently picking her needs over the needs of others. Dr. Ursiny outlined the balance in his own way in The Coward’s Guide to Conflict, “While there is no right equation to determine when you cross the line from self care into selfishness, the most important factor is the level of care you have for what the other person wants. When your care for their wants is close to your care for your own wants, you are stepping out of a selfish perspective.”

I use the analogy of the Earth to help people step out of a selfish perspective. Selfishness is like the Earth. Both astronauts and pilots have said that if one looses sight of the Earth, they feel detached, have no perspective and don’t know which end is up. Selfishness is our base level. It is the lowest point which helps put our achievements into context. Every time you take a step away from selfishness, you soar like an acrobat, fly like a pilot or sometimes rocket into space. But we must always return to Earth to keep our needs met. The adventure and beauty is in leaving the Earth. Worms never leave the Earth, only burrow within it, seeking to only fill their base needs again and again. The poor worm never sees the sky without fear. Soar instead.

 Once upon a time, I was at court in front of a judge for a Failure to Adjust to treatment hearing. I stood next to my patient, and on the other side of her stood her probation officer and child-advocate attorney. The jude was yelling at everyone except the kid about not receiving any updates about “this child.” That was when I realized that he was including me in this tirade. Of course, I asserted the multiple, lengthy reports that I faxed to the probation officer, who was my contact. The judge waved his one piece of paper at us. The probation officer claimed she faxed them. “Well, are they still in the fax machine?!” the judge bellowed. He also called me “Doctor,” numerous times, but I couldn’t fault him, he didn’t have my reports.

A kid who tried very hard therapeutically but could not stop hitting people stood next to me, little trembling over the determination of the judge while we quibbled over faxes. The case was tabled for review so that the probation officer, attorney and I could make a plan. The probation officer was gung-ho about finally crafting the plan that should have already been crafted–unbeknownst to me. Then she went to Europe for three weeks without informing us.

Just yesterday, I stood in front of the same judge again. I stood next to a different probation officer (for the vacationing one) and one of our staff members. I did not stand next to the kid. I a fit of fear, she had run from the courthouse while our staff pursued yelling to stop. No one stopped her. Our staff pursued. No one helped her. The probation officer filling in for the vacationing probation officer reported all this to the judge who looked down from the bench and said “And…?” as though the escape from a giant building teeming with law officers was an unnecessary detail. Though he confirmed receiving all my reports, he again called me “Doctor.”

It Shouldn’t Be a Unicorn

Thanks for the fairy tale, but what’s the point? The point is that the crux of the frustration above was not “the system” or even the kid’s actions–though they are the genus of all of this. The crux was, and is, a lapse in basic communication from people who are all trained in communication

While pursuing this case at work, I was working on this website at home. I have been trying to integrate an easy contact form which won’t burst my in-box with spam (like the last two) and a subscription/update email service into the site. It was taking longer than I’d wanted and cutting into my time prepping another article on–of all things–selfishness. I chose to finalize the services, rather than complete the article because the scales have been removed from my eyes regarding communication. It is not as common, or as practiced as I once believed, even among professionals. I have chosen that I shall champion the cause of communication with this website.

Well Connected is Well Armed

Therefore, along side the existing ability to email me directly as listed on the Need Help Now? page, we also offer a simple contact form and email subscription service, both found on the Contact and Subscribe page. The subscription service will only send a brief email noting the new blog article on the day of its publication, I promise. We offer these things as weapons in the war against disconnection and misinterpretation. We offer these things in memorial of a kid who maybe could have had more faith in their fate if some of the people making important decisions had better information flow, we offer these services in direct response to those of you who have asked (sometimes repeatedly, and with emphasis) for them.

And, to you guys who have asked for this, you’re awesome. Your why I write these articles. You, and that if all this stuff stayed in my brain I would surely explode. Go sign up for something or send me a message.

“Humans are the only creatures that actively seek out fearful experiences.
We take roller coaster rides. We skydive. We go to scary movies.
We even pay money to do these things.” – Dirk Eitzen
The Society for Cognitive Studies of the Moving Image

Like most married Americans, I watch television with my wife. We usually share reactions; laughter at the same jokes, intrigue at plot twists, shock at surprises, but when horror movie commercials come on, our reactions couldn’t be more opposite. I gape, she cringes. I love horror movies, and books, and video games. She does not. Today we answer the question that has no-doubt been in her mind, and the minds of other horror-loving-lover spouses, “What’s wrong with me?” as well as the question that she’s actually asked me, on occasion, “Why do you like to be scared?”

Let’s talk about fear. According to a 2010 article by Dirk Eitzen of The Society for Cognitive Studies of the Moving Image, “fear is such an effective life-saving response that it is one of the most basic and primitive ‘emotions’…the fear response is buried in the most primitive parts of the brain, sometimes called the ‘reptile brain.’ At bottom, fear is a danger avoidance mechanism. It anticipates possible harm and then prompts us to avoid it. It is forward looking. That’s why we have it.” That anticipation of possible harm will be key to this discussion.

In terms of sides of the discussion, those who study and investigate this topic “generally use one of two theories to explain why people like horror movies,” as noted in Science Daily. “The first is that the person is not actually afraid, but excited by the movie. The second explanation is that they are willing to endure the terror in order to enjoy a euphoric sense of relief at the end.” This article highlighted a new study by Eduardo Andrade (University of California, Berkeley) and Joel B. Cohen (University of Florida) which first appeared in the August issue of the Journal of Consumer Research decrying both of these perspectives on the love, and personal function of horror movies. In fact, the study argued against the either-or model of the debate, asserting that there are multiple benefits and emotional stimuli involved.

A great horror movie hangs on three spikes, Story, Art and Music. To this end I’ve brought together a writer (Me) an artist and a musician who all are lovers of horror. Chuck Regan, “Illustrator and writer for fun and hopefully-eventually-profit, and a web designer for not-so-much-fun” has loved horror ever since reading “an old horror comic book about a disfigured child locked in an attic,” or watching the “Hammer film, ‘The Screaming Skull’.” He is a long-time dark comic book writer-artist, graphic designer of beauty and villainy and author of the forthcoming “Children to Avoid,” a creepy children’s book for adults which incorporates his talent for the macabre.

Christina Ward was first welcomed into the world of horror by Freddy in Nightmare on Elm Street and considers the horror experience “like jumping out of an airplane- the adrenaline rush is addicting!” Christina is the singer/songwriter/banjo player for The Great Afternoon, who’s bright name pokes fun at their haunting, sometimes dark tone. The music of The Great Afternoon, with its lingering melodies and deft tempo changes could find its way into any horror soundtrack—and probably should.

Feelings, a Rainbow of Feelings

According to Steph Hendry of Media Studies “Uses and Gratification Theory” defines “multiple pleasures that might be experienced when watching horror films” from the simple emotions of “Identification, Entertainment, Diversion, Escapism, Voyeurism, Social Interaction, and Empathy” to the complex concepts of “Catharsis or Vicarious experience, Perception of anti-mainstream activity, Playing out cultural/personal fears, and Masochism (&/or sadism).” Interestingly, the horror experience can, apparently serve as both “Confirmation of dominant ideologies and values” or as “‘Acting out’ – challenging enforced values and repressions” depending on the viewer’s ideological bent.

But from a less clinical perspective, the stirring of horror is much more straight forward. Christina Ward seeks the chance to “experience things that would be horrifying to go through without actually having to go through those experiences” which reinforces Eitzen’s research that “By entertaining imaginary dangers, we rehearse responses to actual or possible dangers. In this way, we develop important survival skills [and] take situations, including painful or sad situations such as death, and think through how we might or should respond to them.”

“Good horror is something that, due to its concepts or craftsmanship in storytelling, can be overlaid readily onto my current reality,” which Chuck Regan said is his greatest emotional pleasure, “’crossing over’ into the unknown and inspiring my already overactive imagination is the best experience. Could there be a slithering tentacled thing hanging from the rafters? If I have to check before I am comfortable, then SCORE!” Eitzen would call that “Cognitive Mastery…by trying to comprehend it, we take a step toward being able to manage or control it. This is a uniquely human capacity, but it addresses a basic biological need, by helping us feel and be safe.”

What Makes Your Spine (or Scalp) Tingle?

As noted in Fear: A Psychophysiological Study of Horror Film Viewing a Texas State University Study, “the experience of fear and its physiology is a group effort provided by multiple systems within the body and in the brain” and one of the end results of that effort is to flood the bloodstream with a cocktail of “adrenaline and cortisol, increasing blood pressure and increasing the metabolic rate needed to react appropriately to survive.” All this is true, plus it feels dandy.

While the physical manifestations are slightly different in each person—such as, both Ward and Regan get cold or sweaty hands but Ward’s “heart rate spikes” while Regan’s “scalp tingles”—the ultimate physiological draw is really a no brainer. “At the most basic level,” Eitzen found, “the arousal engendered by the thought of sex is no different than the arousal produced by fear. Adrenaline is adrenaline.”

It’s All in Your Head

The Texas State University Study pinpointed “the amygdalae, a collection of nuclei in the medial temporal lobes of the brain” as the “fundamental basis and center for the processing of fear in the human emotional complex.”

But that does not pin-point why both our horror lovers found The Exorcist as the most frighteningly enjoyable movie, but I am Legend made Ward almost walk out of the theater and the Alien “Chest Buster Scene, in the theater” did make 11 year old Chuck Regan spend “the next third of the film in the lobby.”

Of course, The Society for Cognitive Studies of the Moving Image points the way. “The brain’s fear response and thereby, the horror genre writer, pushes three buttons, so to speak. It galvanizes attention and so orients the body and the mind toward danger or the possibility of danger. It prepares the body for action, by releasing adrenaline into the bloodstream and tensing muscles, among other things. And it takes control of thought, pushing danger or the possibility of danger to the forefront of awareness. This is why it is extremely difficult if not impossible to turn fear off by simply willing it away” and why when our fear-centers are too stimulated flight will happen.

If a horror crafter hits that sweet spot, the just-scary-enough spot, we get “galvanized attention, tense muscles, mind focused on the possibility of harm…we use the same mental machinery to process the idea of danger whether it is danger to the self or danger to someone else. This applies even to characters in movies. We know they are just actors, of course. Still, the fear machinery churns away, beneath the level of this conscious stuff.” Eitzen concludes that “We cannot turn this machinery off. That’s what is so fun about scary movies.”

The Bottom of the Spiral

“Horror movies I think are the closest thing we have to an active mythology -
to provide warning signs for behavior and how far is too far to adventure into the unknown,
and how to maintain our humanity while we are in danger.”
-Chuck Regan, Illustrator and Writer

Andrade and Cohen asserted in their novel study that “The assumption of people’s inability to experience positive and negative affect at the same time is incorrect…people experience both negative and positive emotions simultaneously — people may actually enjoy being scared, not just relief when the threat is removed” as previously thought.

This is no real surprise to all three of our horror lovers (myself included). Andrade and Cohen say “the most pleasant moments of a particular event may also be the most fearful” I say that—on this day of tricks, treats and candy—that we all like a little salty with our sweet. The trick is finding the right degree of each so that maximum pleasure is the result.

_________________________________________
Special thanks to Christina Ward and Chuck Regan for helping with this article. Please check out the sites of these two gifted, fine people. And Happy Halloween everyone.

It’s October and I’ve got Horror on my mind. Horror, as a genre, can be one of the most diverse and controversial storytelling styles for the simple fact that it is a pusher; a boundary pusher, a moré pusher, a comfort zone pusher. Horror exists on the other side of where we live. It’s part of the excitement.

Horror stories also have the unique ability, from this outside perspective, to comment on the common place aspects of our lives in compelling ways. Think of what Psycho did to the simple act of taking a shower. The horror story can be the magnifying glass or Carnival mirror view of the daily grind. It is from this perspective that I’d like to look at some of the common truths of therapy which take on sharper or greater focus, when put in the context of the horror story.

Paranormal Activity

“Don’t Uncover What You Can’t Recover.”

I was so excited for Paranormal Activity and then it sucked so bad. Katie and Micah (Played by actors named Katie and Micah—isn’t that cute! They’re so beyond things like character names) move into a new home, and so does the ghost that’s “haunted Katie since she was a kid.” We later find out it’s a demon. Then we later find out that it’s connected to something that happened to Katie when she was a kid and is represented by a childhood photograph of her, which was thought to be lost in a fire.

Katie gets progressively worse throughout the movie; standing over Micah as he sleeps, staring into space and other creepily low budget things. There are minor overtures, mostly from Micah to attempt to figure out what happened to Katie but once the picture is found and then re-burned, Katie or the demon, amps up the paranormal activity and—no matter which ending you saw—the movie ends badly.

There is a clear current in all forms of therapy that self-discovery and processing of past events precedes healing. I agree. One must always undertake that process reverently, gently and with an eye on the clock and the calendar. I firmly believe that it is better to uncover only what you know you have the time to recover and look past sometimes glaring things that could still use processing, than to have your client vomit up all their hurtful moments and not have time for resolution. That’s just a way to create more trauma. Katie wasn’t ready for the minimal amount of self-rediscovery that she endured. Paranormal Activity may have no value beyond this analogy, and I’m fine with that: We all have demons in our attic. Don’t open the door if you don’t have time to close it.

Nightmare on Elm 3: The Dream Warriors

“It’s All About the Group.”

I love group therapy. It’s no secret to those I work with. Group dynamics have a power that individual therapy—though equally crucial to healing—cannot match. In Nightmare on Elm Street, Nancy faced Freddy individually, and it became an instant classic. In Dream Warriors Nancy is the new staff member at Westin Hills psychiatric hospital. One of her roles is to assist Dr. Neil Gordon with his therapy group, a gathering of “the last of the Elm Street Children” who share the same vision of Freddy.

There are some solid group therapy concepts nestled in this movie, which is equally as good as the first in the series. The seven Elm Street kids share a struggle which their staff member, Nancy has personal knowledge of. Not only is that a group therapy standard, it also fits into a recovery model. The therapist helps the kids develop their inherent strengths—okay, in this instance “Dream Powers”—to aid them in their struggle. They incorporate appropriate psychopharmacological aid, in the form of the fantasy drug Hypnocil.

Each character fulfills some standard group therapy roles: Kincaid, the tough guy who doesn’t need the group. Will, the people-pleasing “good kid.” Taryn, the one committed to staying negative. Jennifer, the drama queen. Joey, the quiet one. Kristen, the seeker. Philip, the one who’s negative consequences spur the group forward. Yes, most of these kids die.

Though extreme, that is also a fair depiction of group. Any grouping of people with issues is not simply designed to solve those issues because some of them are unsolvable and more importantly, people my not be committed to solving them. Will dies but takes a stand first. Kincaid survives with a new appreciation for connections with people, Kristen finds what she is seeking, and Joey discovers his voice is his strength. Four out of seven is not a bad success rate.

The Ring

“Family Therapy is for Everyone. Burying the Problem Feeds It.”

Wow, The Ring. Remember when it came out? I scoffed at a PG13 horror movie, but it was a crawly, insidious little jump-fest. Poor Samara and her family. Could therapy have helped Anna and Richard Morgan with Samara who was the identified patient? Well, I dunno how CBT works on the spawn of Satan, but it might have had better results that burying her in a well. The Morgans’ plight, though exaggerated, is a common one; the kid is the identified patient, but they become the identified problem. Family therapy needs participation from the whole family to be wholly successful. The kid who changes in treatment only to come back to the same family is a kid that will return to the same old behaviors, over and over, like a cycle…or a ring.

Hellbound: HellRaiser 2

 “Maintain a Healthy Distance from Your Work”

My other favorite horror series. In this sequel is also set in a psychiatric hospital, the Channard Institute, which Kirsty—our heroin—is admitted to following the events of Hellraiser. Class, Dr. Channard is the focus of today’s lesson. The man must have been a gifted psychiatrist at one point, after all he has a whole institute. But that institute, itself is a good model for the man. Above ground it was a creepily lit place of healing, but a place of healing none-the-less. Below ground it was a psychological house of horrors. Channard worked all day upstairs, then went downstairs to continue his pursuit of Hell through opening Lemarchand’s puzzle box and tinkering with the violently insane.

The moral of the story? Take breaks. Channard is a classic case of a therapist who let his personal life be swallowed by his professional pursuits and thus lost healthy perspective. For me, taking my notes, evaluations and treatment plan updates home instead of doing them at work is something that I always need to balance with having fun with my family, otherwise burnout will swallow all. Our clients and patients need that healthy perspective—in some cases it is exactly what they’re lacking to aid their own life. “What’s your pleasure, sir?” Little John asks at the end of the movie, just like the end of Hellrasier. That’s the question. What’s your pleasure and how do you ensure that you receive healthy doses of it to balance a truly challenging and draining vocation? Now, if you don’t balance your work I don’t expect that you’ll become a Cenobite who loves a skinless Hell-escapee, but it still begins to ruin your work and your life. Again, the moral: Avoid puzzle boxes and take breaks.

The Ugly

“Be Vigilant Against Transference.”

“Wait? What’s The Ugly?” You ask. The Ugly is the movie that I saw a preview of on FearNet, but the movie wasn’t on FearNet. The Ugly is the first horror movie that I ever pursued, a decade after its 1997 New Zealand release. I was not disappointed. Well, I was with some of the acting, but the movie is sound.

Simon Cartwright is a killer who has been in a secure psychiatric hospital for years following his brutal murders. Dr. Karen Shoemaker is a young psychologist who believes Simon is cured of his delusional belief that inside him dwell otherworldly horrors who compelled his brutality. Psychiatrists would call them command auditory/visual hallucinations. Simon calls them The Ugly. Karen’s series of sessions just might have woke them up. Simon just might not be crazy. But Karen…

That’s the point of the movie. I guess Look Who’s Crazy would not have been as engaging a title, but it encapsulates the theme of transference; when a therapist begins to feel the emotions or adopt the beliefs of their patient. By essence, every one of these movie depictions is over-blown, but take the warning of Karen Shoemaker seriously. Transference happens, but it especially happens when you’re not watching and having supervision with a qualified professional. The most gifted trauma therapist can develop some PTSD symptoms after soaking up years of difficult stories and not wringing themselves out in a session to someone. Always talk to someone, always keep an eye on yourself—especially if you don’t think you need to. It’s good for you and good for your clients.

While horror is not for everyone, I believe that these theraputic truths are universal. I hope you’ve gained insight or support for your work with people, or at least for your Netflix que.

 “Writing…is like shooting with a rifle; you may hit your reader’s mind, or miss it…”
-Oliver Wendell Holmes

As with last fall, I’ve loaded up my cerebral six-gun with the Six Word Stories of our recent adventures. In this fashion I serve three ends; It is a writing exercise for my literarily minded readers, while those of the psychological bent might see that it serves as a creative way to reflect on my existential encounters, and some of you just get frustrated when my blog doesn’t mention me or the family.

So take cover, because the shooting is about to begin! 

While at Adventure Aquarium: Camden, NJ
Sharks lurk, we frolic with stingrays.

First Time Camping for my Two Girls: Tohickon Camp Ground, Quakertown, PA
Raining buckets can’t stop our fun.

First Airplane Trip (for Illyana) to Chicago: Geneva, IL
Four day, deep-dish cousin play circus.

Annual Street-Wide Yardsale: Montgomery County, PA
Cash and memories; both well made.

The Video Games of Summer: My Couch, the Little-Big House
Beat some but one was Magic.

One Splendid Summer with Suz and Lili: My Heart, Me
Together we conquered all the elements.

So, internet, whatis your Six Word Story of the Summer?