Fantasy Communication and Real Contact

 Once upon a time, I was at court in front of a judge for a Failure to Adjust to treatment hearing. I stood next to my patient, and on the other side of her stood her probation officer and child-advocate attorney. The jude was yelling at everyone except the kid about not receiving any updates about “this child.” That was when I realized that he was including me in this tirade. Of course, I asserted the multiple, lengthy reports that I faxed to the probation officer, who was my contact. The judge waved his one piece of paper at us. The probation officer claimed she faxed them. “Well, are they still in the fax machine?!” the judge bellowed. He also called me “Doctor,” numerous times, but I couldn’t fault him, he didn’t have my reports.

A kid who tried very hard therapeutically but could not stop hitting people stood next to me, little trembling over the determination of the judge while we quibbled over faxes. The case was tabled for review so that the probation officer, attorney and I could make a plan. The probation officer was gung-ho about finally crafting the plan that should have already been crafted–unbeknownst to me. Then she went to Europe for three weeks without informing us.

Just yesterday, I stood in front of the same judge again. I stood next to a different probation officer (for the vacationing one) and one of our staff members. I did not stand next to the kid. I a fit of fear, she had run from the courthouse while our staff pursued yelling to stop. No one stopped her. Our staff pursued. No one helped her. The probation officer filling in for the vacationing probation officer reported all this to the judge who looked down from the bench and said “And…?” as though the escape from a giant building teeming with law officers was an unnecessary detail. Though he confirmed receiving all my reports, he again called me “Doctor.”

It Shouldn’t Be a Unicorn


Thanks for the fairy tale, but what’s the point? The point is that the crux of the frustration above was not “the system” or even the kid’s actions–though they are the genus of all of this. The crux was, and is, a lapse in basic communication from people who are all trained in communication

While pursuing this case at work, I was working on this website at home. I have been trying to integrate an easy contact form which won’t burst my in-box with spam (like the last two) and a subscription/update email service into the site. It was taking longer than I’d wanted and cutting into my time prepping another article on–of all things–selfishness. I chose to finalize the services, rather than complete the article because the scales have been removed from my eyes regarding communication. It is not as common, or as practiced as I once believed, even among professionals. I have chosen that I shall champion the cause of communication with this website.

Well Connected is Well Armed


Therefore, along side the existing ability to email me directly as listed on the Need Help Now? page, we also offer a simple contact form and email subscription service, both found on the Contact and Subscribe page. The subscription service will only send a brief email noting the new blog article on the day of its publication, I promise. We offer these things as weapons in the war against disconnection and misinterpretation. We offer these things in memorial of a kid who maybe could have had more faith in their fate if some of the people making important decisions had better information flow, we offer these services in direct response to those of you who have asked (sometimes repeatedly, and with emphasis) for them.

And, to you guys who have asked for this, you’re awesome. Your why I write these articles. You, and that if all this stuff stayed in my brain I would surely explode. Go sign up for something or send me a message.

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