Not Quite a Gag Reel…

“Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!”
-The Great and Poweful Wizard of Oz, The Wizard of Oz

I’m always jazzed to see the interest in this site, and am especially excited by the bunch of you who make a point to come by every-other-week and see what’s happening. I always endeavor to deliver well thought out, researched pieces that offer tools for life that are actually readable.

That balance between research, thought and readability is an ever changing dance but on constant is that more happens behind the scenes in terms of data and life experience than you ever get to see.

As the year closes, I thought it would be grand to take you behind the curtain of three pieces that had very high readability and also interesting moments behind the scenes which never made it to the page.

The Drawing of the Three

“Three, this is the number of your fate…ka is a wheel.”
– Stephen King, The Drawing of the Three

Wordless was written over a year ago, in January of 2013. It is a great example of exactly what I hoped these articles would be; a strait forward synergy of life experience and clinical guidance. Two behind the scenes moments will stick with me forever.

First, shortly after publication, the article was posted on the Autism Speaks forums by a long time reader of KeithKarabin.com who also happens to be the parent of autistic children. Not only did he contact me later to say that the article was receiving a good response, but when I sought it out myself, I found that he had said that if his children were not so far away, he would love for me to work with them. There is never any higher praise or more humbling honor than a parent’s trust with their children.

Second, I prepared this post—as I do many—while wrestling with my own adjustment in moving from a very verbal style of therapy to a non-verbal one. I’m so pleased to report that the first patient (now I have two) has done wonderfully well in therapy, made significant progress and they and their parents are looking toward a successful discharge in the near future, to a higher level of care which was something that had been out of reach prior to treatment.

Getting What We Deserve: The Depravity Standard was published in April of last year and featured one of the more boot-quaking moments of my online psycho-journalistic career. I first became aware of the Depravity Standard, the work of Dr. Michael Welner and the Forensic Panel, during the fallout of the Sandy Hook Shootings. I heard an interview with him and, both as a psychotherapist and as a Christian, I was astounded by the idea of crafting a comprehensive societal view of evil.

I was even more astounded when he responded directly to me after I shared my impressions and exhortation to become involved. Impressions that I was amazed to hear him say “took the complexities of the standard and made it all seem understandable.” But the real behind the scenes moment is a moment in my heart; a thrill of fear and excitement, a feeling like a denizen of Mount Olympus had descended to my inbox. For that moment it was very hard to click “open” on the email, but I was so glad that I did.

Moving Toward Gold After The Finish Line hit the aether in May of 2013 and marked the 210 pound culmination of over a year of effort, exercise and weight loss. I had intended to write about a moment from that article, but ka is a wheel, and I’ve had a new moment, thanks to this article. What I had intended to write about was the behind the scenes moment when I went to the bathroom, after I got off the scale and received the congratulations of my peers and staff. No, I didn’t do anything “bathroom-y” when I went to the bathroom.

I fell to my knees in tears. Grateful tears, proud tears; tears that shed some of the emotional 200 pounds (or more) that I also carried in my heart, like my body carried the weight. As I said in the introduction, sometimes I must cut things to make a more concise piece, for readability. This moment didn’t fit then, the piece was already longer than I’d like—I do strive for brevity, though I often fall short, or maybe long in this case.

The Moment is Now

“The greatest cause of our insecurity is that we compare
our behind-the-scenes life, with others highlights reel.”
– John Reyes, actor

 The moment fits now for a reason that I didn’t expect until after I re-read many of the articles of 2013 and because, like with many articles, I’ve been struggling with something. I’ve been struggling with successfully maintaining weight, as in, feeling successful when my weight remains the same, just like I feared that I would when I wrote the article. I’ve achieved many great things (yes, like last article, this makes me grate-ful) but I’m still wrestling with the emotional poundage that I lifetime of unhealthy living has packed on. I probably will for years, and I’m growing more okay with that.

The coming year has some great moments ahead and they begin with the reminder that I’m a work in progress, just like you, just like this site, just like life. Perhaps that’s why there’s a growing appeal and friend-base (I’ll never call it a fanbase) here. Perhaps what draws you and I here week after week is the same thing; the moments of struggle before, the moments of hope in the future, and that all powerful moment happening right now.